Welcome to Mollie’s problem page……..wee’s are going tooo’s to dis in two posts as I’ms very busy, and hasn’t got times to answer all yor problems in one hit…
Our first problem is from…OH…Annoniemus..
Is it embarassing to have a hot date in public and in front of your parents?
On my walks often I met my Shi-Tsu girlfriend. So as yesterday. While we cuddeled a little bit together, my mom saw, that she was in heat and jammed my girl under her arm and toked her home immediately. I was standing as the loser and had no idea what’s going on.
REMEMBER: You have a date and it’s very romantic and love is in the air… and suddenly someone grabs your girl- or boyfriend and take him or her away!
I was so upset, that I can’t eat my lunch, was sitting in my bed and made noises like a squeekie toy in an endless loop. I’m at hunger-strike since this and hope, my mom&dad would capitulate, if I eat nothing. What else could I do? P.S. Please answer asap, I’m very hungry and I don’t know how long I will stay my hunger-strike…
*all names, races and places are changed
The questioner would be anonymous and unrecognized
MOLLIE’S ADVISE: Well no Dawg should go on a hunger strike because of a bitch..Yes I nose I am one but we don’t like our Dawgs skinny! Next time yooo’s want to be romantic wiff your girlfurriend..( yooo’s two timer!! slap, cough ) I suggest yoooo’s play a game off chase..straight in to the bushes…by the times the humans catch up..Job Done ! Peee-esss YOUR DUMPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ON TO OUR NEXT PROBLEM…
I know I said before that kittehs duz nawt hab problems, but I had nawt thought it all the way through. I do have a problem. My Human is not as efficient and attentive as she ought to be. For example, during the school year, I get my breakfast about 5:30 or 6 a.m. I have come to rely upon that. Now, suddenly, during summer vacation, it is coming later and later. I mean, she’s up by 7:00, but does she fix my breakfast first thing? NO, she does NOT!! She putters around and reads her email and does all KINDS of unimportant stuff, and today I did not get my breakfast until nine. That’s 9:00 a.m.!!!! UN-AC-CEPT-ABLE!
Can you help me?
Sincerely, Spitty the Kitty
MOLLIE’S ADVISE : No No No my dear, weee’s can’t have this. You is priority! not her emails or uffer unimportant stuff. Yooo’s can do the obvious..walks all over her keyboard whilst she’s on the compawter and screech in her ear. Or you can start shakin your butt and tail at her legs..and do that fing cat’s do!! I’ve seen Alfie do it on the shed..urg!!! Dat’s sure to get her attention..den yooo’s run to the food cupboard and screech as loud as yooo’s can..Like a cat on heat! I finks that food will be in the bowl in a shake of a cats whiskers..I hope this has been of help to yoo’s my dear.
ON TO OUR NEXT PROBLEM OF DE DAY….
I am somewhat of a tomboy. I enjoy wrestling, rolling in fox poo, and scavenging for food. I’m often mistaken for a boy due to my boisterousness. But my problem is I don’t have much success with boys. Mummy says this is because I’m not very ladylike: I try to be submissive, but once I start wrestling with a boy my competitive side comes out and I end up throwing my weight around and pinning them down. They don’t seem to like that though, as afterwards the boy always looses interest:-(
A German Shepherd called Luca has recently caught my eye, but I’m afraid I’ll scare him off. What can I do to make him like me?
MOLLIE’S ADVISE: Well’s me little pup..yoo’s certainly do have a lot to learn..I fink if yooo’s go down the park and the potential boyfurriends, see yooo’s rollin in FOX
SHI POO..( Whisper: I personally wouldn’t do anyfing like dat, as yoo all’s nose ) day ain’t gonna fink yor much of a lady..And as yooo is rather a big girl..big is beautiful..don’t get me wrongs….but ya can’t start pouncin on em and squashin dem. Yooo’s need to calm down and show em yor a weal lady. Hold dat head up high..stick dat butt out..let em have a little sniff but then walk away..don’t looks back..pretend yoo’s not interested. They will goes wild!!! To make Luca notice yoo’s yor gonna have to do some practise of the above..As yoo’s got leaning difficulties wiff how to pull a Dawg just a cute pup, I have put somink in the post for yooo’s that’s a right Dawg puller…wear it like a real bitch and yoo’s should have Luca all over yooo’s, like a Dawg on heat like bee’s round a honey pot. I do hopes I’s been of some help to yooo’s my dear.
Well’s readers… I hopes yooo’s have learn’t some advice from my problem page and that it will give yoooo’s good sted in the future.. As yoo nose I am weally busy ( playin, eatin Alfie, havin fun fun fun ) on that compawter everyday..sortin out problems..That I am havin t do this in two post..more the merrier.. That’s all for now folks..Don’t forget.. if yoo’s wants me to helps wiff a problem..just email me.
There will be links added at the end of next post wiff all our poor problemed critters..bloggies..just so yoo’s can pop over and see if they’ve taken the advice of an expert. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx0000000000000xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx